". . ."

     So today has just been, "one of those days". Completely my fault. I have known the end of the semester was coming for a while now. I just ignored it, hoped it would get better like I always do. Kept my head in the clouds, waiting for something that will never happen, lost in daydreams that amounted to nothing.

     I am not getting any younger. The longer I stand around waiting for good things to happen, the less likely is it they will. Exponentially falling.

      So tired of life right now. Tired of how it just sucks, but not enough to matter. It sucks just enough, that when I mope around about it I look pathetic. Jesus, it isn't like my arms are falling off because of a terrible disease or anything. Even my problems are mediocre. "Mediocre". Just enough to look pathetic and I should just get over it. Blah.

     It all comes down to this: I think I know I want to go to vet school.  And hopefully I can platform from there to bigger and better things.

     Until then I have been swimming around a very  crowded pool of people with the same "dream" of Vet School. I don't really stand out here, I am just swimming around with a dazed look on my face, thinking of how I would really really like to be somewhere else.
     People around me are panicking. Some think they are sinking. . .they cling to the side, desperately kicking and floating in the shallow end. . .worried for no reason. Others, truly are sinking. They scream, flail, reach out to others to help them. But in the end, the sinking person sinks to the bottom of the pool. Here, one of two things can happen:
1. They Die. They die because they can't figure out what else they want to do with their life. What their true passion is. They have nothing else, nothing promising. They die. Or. . .
2.They find a little cave at the bottom that leads somewhere else, somewhere they were supposed to of been all along, silly. They thrive and move onto different bigger and better things.
     In the meantime, I have been kind of watching this. Watching the sinking people, watching the panicked ones, watching as the bell whistles and a select few are helped out of the pool and congratulated on their success of treading water for 14 years, they can finally join the party! ((Which turns out to be another pool, awesome. . . )).
    Well, as I have been daydreaming, I have drifted to the deep end of the pool. Where the cave lurks below, and the bodies of those who could not find the cave peer up at me from the darkness. Suddenly, I feel tired, I can't swim anymore. My focus is leaving the daydream, and I can feel how cold the water has actually been. I start to feel how tired my muscles have gotten, and realize I am starting to sink. I am not a good swimmer. I am starting to panic. The water is so deep, I can't touch the bottom. What do I do now?